Ik houd nooit zo van moppen, maar deze vond ik wel goed
"Een kerel staat aan te schuiven aan de kassa van zijn lokale supermarkt wanneer hij merkt dat de knappe blondine achter hem haar hand opsteekt en naar hem glimlacht.
Hij schrikt ervan dat zo'n bloedmooie jonge vrouw naar hem zou wuiven, en alhoewel ze hem niet vreemd lijkt kan hij haar toch niet thuisbrengen.
Dusdraait hij zich om en zegt vriendelijk: "Excuseer, maar kent u mij?" Zij antwoordt met een glimlach: "ik kan het fout hebben, maar ik denk dat u de vader van een van mijn kinderen bent..."
Zijn gedachten schieten terug naar die eerste en enige keer dat hij ontrouw is geweest, en hij vraagt: "Jezus", zegt hij, "bent u soms die stripper van mijn vrijgezellenavond die ik geneukt heb op de biljarttafel in het zicht van al mijn maten, terwijl jouw vriendin me geselde met een natte selder en een komkommer in mijn reet duwde?"
"Nee" zegt ze, "ik ben de lerares Engels van uw zoontje" !!!"
1. Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
2. The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
5. Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
6. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
7. It's your god. They're your rules. *You* go to hell.
8. I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness
9. If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
10. My god carries a hammer. Your god died nailed to a tree. Any questions?
Haha Die mogen allemaal wel opgenomen als quotes voor de bot
I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 and then opens them.
Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. Hes sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, youre terrible, Ive found you!
Newton says No no, Einy. Youve found one Newton per square meter. Youve found Pascal!
I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
#917561 +(569)- [X]
<Rei> What's Microsoft Works?
<K> An oxymoron.
I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
SoccerGirl114: Today, I was having sex with this guy at a party when out of no where he yells at the top of his lungs, "mortal kombat!".
SoccerGirl114: His friends yelled back, "finish her!"
zit quote db door te nemen :p
:p
Life is just a killing field, its all thats left -- nothings real
throw away your disposable past and fall apart like a cigarette ash
we are the fatal and vital ones of this world and we will burn your cities down
I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
