Inloggen

Gebruikersnaam:
Wachtwoord:
 
 
Registreren

Heb je nog geen TaZrum account? Registreer je dan nu en log in om de hele site te kunnen gebruiken!



Daben topic deel 2



1 3 4 5 6 7 12 18 24
Litania

Avatar niet gevonden


Status: Offline
Posts: 8325
Geslacht: Vrouw

10-08-2009 18:48:10
Ornithorhynchida schreef:
User posted image


Waaaa.....ter!

Die leeft nog dankzij mij.
Lightbringer

Avatar niet gevonden
Aeria Gloris

Status: Offline
Posts: 19019
Geslacht: Man

10-08-2009 20:07:45
Sushi.
Dynosu

Avatar niet gevonden
Rumdrinker

Status: Offline
Posts: 219
Geslacht: Man

11-08-2009 16:37:45
ben geen sushi fan :p

Life is just a killing field, its all thats left -- nothings real
throw away your disposable past and fall apart like a cigarette ash
we are the fatal and vital ones of this world and we will burn your cities down
Mirielle

Avatar niet gevonden
Kitty nooo

Status: Offline
Posts: 21837
Geslacht: Vrouw

16-08-2009 17:22:54
A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As she lay there in bed
Looping 'round in her head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++
Snorro

Avatar niet gevonden
dfSAambuce!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 15667
Geslacht: Man

16-08-2009 17:46:18
Haha

I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
Mirielle

Avatar niet gevonden
Kitty nooo

Status: Offline
Posts: 21837
Geslacht: Vrouw

16-08-2009 17:53:13
Dit zal voor veel mensen een beetje tl;dr zijn, maar ik vond 'm grappig.

Quote:
Once upon a time, in a kingdom not far from here, a king summoned two of his advisors for a test. He showed them both a shiny metal box with two slots in the top, a control knob, and a lever. "What do you think this is?"

One advisor, an engineer, answered first. "It is a toaster," he said. The king asked, "How would you design an embedded computer for it?" The engineer replied, "Using a four-bit microcontroller, I would write a simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantizes its position to one of 16 shades of darkness, from snow white to coal black. The program would use that darkness level as the index to a 16-element table of initial timer values. Then it would turn on the heating elements and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table. At the end of the time delay, it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast. Come back next week, and I'll show you a working prototype."

The second advisor, a computer scientist, immediately recognized the danger of such short-sighted thinking. He said, "Toasters don't just turn bread into toast, they are also used to warm frozen waffles. What you see before you is really a breakfast food cooker. As the subjects of your kingdom become more sophisticated, they will demand more capabilities. They will need a breakfast food cooker that can also cook sausage, fry bacon, and make scrambled eggs. A toaster that only makes toast will soon be obsolete. If we don't look to the future, we will have to completely redesign the toaster in just a few years."

"With this in mind, we can formulate a more intelligent solution to the problem. First, create a class of breakfast foods. Specialize this class into subclasses: grains, pork, and poultry. The specialization process should be repeated with grains divided into toast, muffins, pancakes, and waffles; pork divided into sausage, links, and bacon; and poultry divided into scrambled eggs, hard- boiled eggs, poached eggs, fried eggs, and various omelet classes."

"The ham and cheese omelet class is worth special attention because it must inherit characteristics from the pork, dairy, and poultry classes. Thus, we see that the problem cannot be properly solved without multiple inheritance. At run time, the program must create the proper object and send a message to the object that says, 'Cook yourself.' The semantics of this message depend, of course, on the kind of object, so they have a different meaning to a piece of toast than to scrambled eggs."

"Reviewing the process so far, we see that the analysis phase has revealed that the primary requirement is to cook any kind of breakfast food. In the design phase, we have discovered some derived requirements. Specifically, we need an object-oriented language with multiple inheritance. Of course, users don't want the eggs to get cold while the bacon is frying, so concurrent processing is required, too."

"We must not forget the user interface. The lever that lowers the food lacks versatility, and the darkness knob is confusing. Users won't buy the product unless it has a user-friendly, graphical interface. When the breakfast cooker is plugged in, users should see a cowboy boot on the screen. Users click on it, and the message 'Booting UNIX v.8.3' appears on the screen. (UNIX 8.3 should be out by the time the product gets to the market.) Users can pull down a menu and click on the foods they want to cook."

"Having made the wise decision of specifying the software first in the design phase, all that remains is to pick an adequate hardware platform for the implementation phase. An Intel 80386 with 8MB of memory, a 30MB hard disk, and a VGA monitor should be sufficient. If you select a multitasking, object oriented language that supports multiple inheritance and has a built-in GUI, writing the program will be a snap. (Imagine the difficulty we would have had if we had foolishly allowed a hardware-first design strategy to lock us into a four-bit microcontroller!)."

The king wisely had the computer scientist beheaded, and they all lived happily ever after.

Gilletje

Avatar niet gevonden
Former fanboii

Status: Offline
Posts: 6170
Geslacht: Man

17-08-2009 00:19:56
LOL
Litania

Avatar niet gevonden


Status: Offline
Posts: 8325
Geslacht: Vrouw

17-08-2009 00:21:31
Ook echt maandelijks. :')
Typhoon

Avatar niet gevonden
Single Malt drinker

Status: Offline
Posts: 4503
Geslacht: Man

17-08-2009 00:37:31
Dat is echt zo erg! XD
Ik kan me niet voorstellen dat er meiden zijn die daar echt serieus op ingaan...

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
-Albert Einstein
Chris

Avatar niet gevonden
frikandel

Status: Offline
Posts: 9559
Geslacht: Man

18-08-2009 02:01:23
Litania schreef:
Ook echt maandelijks. :')

Huur betaal je toch ook maandelijks.

Zal wel een grap zijn. Hoewel er vast zat kanslozen zijn die op een andere manier niet iets kunnen regelen.

@Marrits verhaaltje: dom verhaaltje, zo zijn Computer Scientists helemaal niet.
Mirielle

Avatar niet gevonden
Kitty nooo

Status: Offline
Posts: 21837
Geslacht: Vrouw

18-08-2009 02:15:32
Chris schreef:
@Marrits verhaaltje: dom verhaaltje, zo zijn Computer Scientists helemaal niet.

Uiteraard niet, maar het is leuk om te lezen.
Mirielle

Avatar niet gevonden
Kitty nooo

Status: Offline
Posts: 21837
Geslacht: Vrouw

20-08-2009 14:58:28
Quote:
A friend of mine woke up one Saturday morning with a stonking headache after a night out on the booze.

As he came to in bed, he went through that process of adjusting slowly and painfully to his surroundings we all go through after too many pints the evening before.

- He was confused about the slick feeling between his legs
- He was confused about the mayonnaise on his pillow
- He was confused about the garlicky smell
- When he pulled the covers back, he was confused to find pitta bread and meat all over his cock.

That's when it came back to him. The night before, drunk and lonely, he had got back to his room with half a kebab, and decided that since he was single, horny, and not hungry anymore, a garlic-mayonnaise and hot meat filled handful of pitta would make a passable vagina-substitute.

Oh yes, he'd fucked a large donner. I still don't understand why he told us about this.


Hahaha wat.
Lightbringer

Avatar niet gevonden
Aeria Gloris

Status: Offline
Posts: 19019
Geslacht: Man

20-08-2009 15:03:52
haha omg
Wyvern

Avatar niet gevonden
Vaatwasser

Status: Offline
Posts: 17542
Geslacht: Vrouw

20-08-2009 15:04:19
Oh mijn god.
Dynosu

Avatar niet gevonden
Rumdrinker

Status: Offline
Posts: 219
Geslacht: Man

20-08-2009 15:06:32
oke dat is best euhm .... ja heb er geen woorden voor

Life is just a killing field, its all thats left -- nothings real
throw away your disposable past and fall apart like a cigarette ash
we are the fatal and vital ones of this world and we will burn your cities down
Litania

Avatar niet gevonden


Status: Offline
Posts: 8325
Geslacht: Vrouw

20-08-2009 15:07:04
Bah.
Chris

Avatar niet gevonden
frikandel

Status: Offline
Posts: 9559
Geslacht: Man

21-08-2009 11:05:10
Wat de fuck..
Gilletje

Avatar niet gevonden
Former fanboii

Status: Offline
Posts: 6170
Geslacht: Man

21-08-2009 13:17:29
Chris schreef:
Wat de fuck..


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Snorro

Avatar niet gevonden
dfSAambuce!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 15667
Geslacht: Man

24-08-2009 12:48:39
Hahaha geweldig!

I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
Snorro

Avatar niet gevonden
dfSAambuce!!

Status: Offline
Posts: 15667
Geslacht: Man

24-08-2009 21:12:17
Review van het Brokencyde optreden op Lowlands

Quote:
BrokeNCYDE is eigenlijk te goed voor Lowlands

De een lult de set aan elkaar en rapt/zingt. De ander brult, of nee, GILT getimed door de tracks heen. Je zou kunnen denken dat BrokeNCYDE een grap is. Maar niets is minder waar. We hadden Da Vinci en Rembrandt van Rijn. Nu is BrokeNCYDE opgestaan.

CONCERT
BrokeNCYDE, X-Ray, zaterdag 22 augustus 2009

MUZIEK
Gezien de albumhoes moeten er minstens vier Amerikaanse tieners langs komen. Maar je kunt waarschijnlijk meer gage ophalen wanneer je de act in tweeën splits. We moeten het doen met twee emokids. Eén lult de set aan elkaar en rapt/zingt. De ander brult, of nee, GILT getimed door de tracks heen. Je zou kunnen denken dat BrokeNCYDE een grap is. Maar dat dacht men ook van Jeff Koons' Spalding basketballen op sterk water, Magritte's Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe, Maurizio Cattelan's biddende Hitlertje en Andy Warhols blikken Campbellsoep. Dit is hogere hedendaagse kunst om lang bij stil te staan. Of zoals een van de jongens brult: "Get fucked up, go get your sex up girl." Zorg dat je dit gezien hebt anders kun je dat abonnement op Kunstbeeld sowieso wel opzeggen.

PLUS
Overgave, het is de basis van geslaagde kunst. Geen rekening houden met wat dan ook, terwijl alle poriën van de kunstenaar toch open staan voor input. Deze twee tieners voelen dat als geen ander aan. "I can't fuck tonight coz I'm having my period. But I WILL jerk off. Does anyone of you guys also need two hands to jerk?" De ander vult hem naadloos aan: "How many sexy motherfuckers are drunk?" Het publiek reageert massaal. Dit is performance art 2.0; zoals de wereld het nog nooit heeft gezien. Alle banden met de beperkende sociale omgangsvormen worden doorbroken. "We are from the United States of America. I think they suck balls. Do you like booze and dope too?"

MIN
De expositieruimte was te klein voor het massaal toegesnelde publiek.

CONCLUSIE
"I think we're fucking assholes. Fuck BrokeNCYDE!" Het totaal ontkennen van welke relevantie dan ook, is bij BrokeNCYDE tot een kunst binnen een kunst verworden. Wanneer de moshpit artificieel wordt gebouwd en er nog lekker veel vlezige lichaamsdelen rondvliegen lijkt niemand de brille van het project meer te kunnen bevatten. Simpele stervelingen hebben zich doodgestudeerd op Da Vinci en Rembrandt van Rijn en zo zal het ook bij BrokeNCYDE gaan.

CIJFER
12



I pulled over to the side and felt no time
Off the highway with the landscape aglow
Still not sure what we were trying to find
I only know we went home
1 3 4 5 6 7 12 18 24